Random Life Update Round-Up

I apologize for not posting a proper update in a few weeks. Initially, I didn’t update for awhile because I couldn’t think of any full-length posts. Then I decided I could just put a lot of little updates in one. Then, when working on that, I came up with another post idea. And then another. And then a fourth one. So now I have a bunch of unfinished, half thought-out blog entries.

But then I got busy and didn’t have a computer and so this update just sat, waiting to be completed and posted. So here goes… a completely random life update round-up. (It’s a little lengthy. I hope you don’t mind.)

A few weeks ago, Rich and I went to the San Diego Zoo, which was a blast and a half. I noticed that we were some of the only people there without kids, but then, well, this happened:

And this:

And I found myself getting just as excited as a bunch of the little tykes there and realized that maybe we did have a kid with us.

Me. It’s me. I’m the kid.

Also, while we were watching the gorillas eat, I was standing against the glass, watching one to my right (I may have been lined up against the glass with a whole lot of 2- to 6-year-olds, shhh) and then there was a super loud THUD sound that made me jump and I turned my head and was face to face with a big ol’ gorilla and it was terrifying while simultaneously awesome. I just kept hoping the glass wouldn’t break.

Don’t worry, I didn’t voice that concern out loud. There were lots of children around who didn’t need to be frightened. Including me. Because again, I’m a kid.

Ahem.

Anyway, then we saw the polar bears playing and a momma and baby hippo sleeping and a whole bunch of other amazing animals. Except for penguins. Apparently the world-famous San Diego Zoo doesn’t have penguins. Lame.

But then the day got super hot and we spent the last hour at the zoo walking quite briskly to the exit, passing by elephants and giraffes and going “Hey, look! That’s cool! Should we stop? Ugh, it’s so hot, let’s keep going.” But we still spent like, 5 hours at the zoo, which is a pretty long time to spend with some caged animals, so the day was a smashing success.

On that same weekend, I had another (totally unrelated) creature encounter. I was closing my living room blinds and felt something on my leg. I looked down and some GIANT bug was crawling on me. I completely flipped my lid and while I was screaming and flailing around, it fell on the floor and I saw it was a spider. A HUGE spider… like, Aragog-from-Harry-Potter huge.

But one thing to know about me is that while I’m terrified of spiders, I’m also terrified of killing them. (Because what if I whack it with a shoe and when I lift up the shoe to check it’s not dead and it totally flies at my face in revenge and I accidentally eat it or something? Don’t judge, it could happen.) So when I saw Shelob (from Lord of the Rings, for you non-nerds) on the floor, I started hyperventilating and ran to Rich who was staring at me, dumbfounded, and trying to figure out what was wrong. It was kind of like a scene straight out of Lassie… “What is it? What is it girl?” And I just kept pointing and shrieking and being no help whatsoever as that freaking tarantula crawled right under my couch. UNDER MY COUCH!

So then I refused to sit on the couch for the next two weeks, because again, it could crawl up on me when I’m deeply invested in Wipeout and kill me or something.

But now I’m trying to get over my paranoia and I’m sitting on my couch again even though I’m still nervous every time I flop down. Just more ridiculousness from my life.

Moving on…

Two weekends ago, I went clothes shopping by myself, which used to be a horrifying experience for someone as indecisive as me… picking out clothing without a second opinion is the worst thing for what few shreds of self-confidence I have.

But now that we have cameras on our fancy phones and can text pictures to our sisters and friends whose opinions we trust, shopping solo has gotten much easier. Instant feedback!

And sometimes I can use my camera phone in a dressing room just so that I can capture some ridiculous piece of clothing that probably looks good on no one. Like this:

What were you thinking, J Lo??? Also note that this shirt is way more orange in real life. 

Speaking of clothing (and horrible transitions into more random stories), my iron is totally trying to ruin every article of clothing I own. It has those big burn marks on it and when it gets to a very specific heat point, it sticks to my pants and leaves big brown spots on them that are super hard to get out. As it starts heating up, it’s fine, and once it gets a little hotter than whatever point it decides it hates clothing, it’s also fine, but there’s some weird point in the middle where I have to play a game of Russian roulette with it. It’s awful.

This post is getting long, so I have one more thing, and that’s it for now.

There’s this woman who works in my building who I run into from time to time who is a huge Twilight fan. She’s technically old enough to be a Twi-mom. I won’t go off on a rant now, but basically you should know that I loathe Twilight. So sometime in our early conversations she mentioned her love of the books and movies and as someone who has always been taught to be polite, I didn’t immediately attack her for liking something so vile, and when she asked if I had read the books I said “yes” but not “yes, but I hate hate hate hate hate them,” which I probably should have done in hindsight, but again, I’m polite.

Anyway, she apparently took that to mean that I am also a die-hard Team Lame Vampire fanatic and now she brings up Twilight whenever she gets a chance around me. I usually just nod along and I don’t think I’ve ever given her a response to anything, and yet she persists. Mostly it’s just a quiet conversation, but on one embarrassing occasion, we were in a packed conference room with literally everyone who works in our building and she chose to loudly (and very excitedly) announce to me that a new trailer was posted online. *facepalm*

Then the other day she got all excited and goes, “Laura, I have a new book series that you’re just going to love! I’ll send you a link to it.” What was it? A young adult book about werewolves.

Politeness. This is where it gets you.