Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On.

Guys! Guys! Guess what!

No, I did not win a gold medal in Olympics watching... that's silly. But I'm flattered. No, this is WAY more exciting.

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Ready?

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I survived an EARTHQUAKE!!! TWO earthquakes, in fact!!! And I didn't even freak out or anything! In fact, I was actually pretty excited about them! Mostly because they were itty bitty and we didn't have to evacuate the building and stuff didn't fall off the walls or anything. If that had happened, I probably wouldn't be as excited. If that had happened, I'd probably be trying to find a way to move away from California. Far away.



But nope, they were just little guys that shook everything for a few seconds and then stopped. My picture frames got all wonky on my walls, but otherwise, no harm, no foul.

So the first one occurred at 11:30 p.m. I was only awake because the Olympics are on, and we all know I don't miss the Olympics (unless I manage to pass out on the couch at 10, which has only happened, like, every other night). I had gotten up to show off all of the groceries I had purchased. (Yes, I show off my groceries. What? I bought a lot and saved a lot. I was understandably proud.) So I had just opened my freezer and then everything shook for about 2 seconds.

Rich thought someone had fallen and hit the wall or something. Me? I had two thoughts. The first was that I had somehow developed amazing Hulk-strength and when I opened the freezer door, I managed to shake the entire fridge. But then I realized that the stove also shook, so that couldn't be it. My second thought was that someone had blown up a meth lab. Naturally.

But then a "breaking news" ticker came across the Olympics to announce that it was, in fact, an earthquake. A 4.4 magnitude, to be precise! Rich and I high-fived. That was my very first California earthquake! Emphasis on California. I'll explain in a second.

So then the next day I was sitting at my desk at work and at about 9:30 a.m. another earthquake hit! The whole building rattled and everything! It lasted a little longer than the first, but was about the same magnitude.

Everyone started asking me if that was my first earthquake, and I had to explain that A. I felt the one the night before, and B. It was my first earthquake in California. But not the first one ever... because I survived one in Illinois, of all places! Back in college, we had a pretty big earthquake. I know it was big because it woke me up at 3 a.m. and I'm about the heaviest sleeper on the planet. Seriously... I once cut my leg open with my finger nail in my sleep and didn't notice until the next morning when my knee was all bloody. Also, I once had Christmas lights fall on me and burn my arm and I didn't notice until I had a big old blister the next day.

So anyway, yeah, I'm pretty much an earthquake pro now. That makes me a Californian. Well, minus the fact that I don't drive a prius or a VW bus or own sunglasses or walk slowly across a busy street. Otherwise, I'm pretty legit, I think.

I need a bumper sticker or something.