2013: The Year of Getting Things Done!

Okay, okay, I know, I’m getting pretty bad at this blogging thing. I could blame the holidays, but it’s honestly a bit more than that. It’s a whole lack of motivation/feeling overwhelmed/sweating the small stuff/not feeling like I have enough time to do anything thing that I have going on right now.

Not a terribly fun opener to this post, I suppose, and I don’t intend for this to sound whiny, but yeah. I’ve been feeling pretty stressed out lately. Like, anxiety-knot-in-my-chest stressed out. The crazy part about that is that I really don’t have much to feel overwhelmed about. I don’t have kids, I don’t own a house, and I’m not in school… I really just work and go home and I still feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day. It’s probably silly, I know. But by the time I make dinner, do my laundry, buy groceries, run errands, read up on the latest in pop culture news, watch my beloved tv shows, tend to my dying garden, and hang out with that crazy cool boyfriend of mine, I’m exhausted and feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.

I’m going to work to keep this post from spiraling out of control, but basically, adulthood has been kind of hard for me to adjust to, even though I’ve been at it for a while. Sometimes I feel like maybe I need more meaningful things to do (like volunteering, writing, exercising, reading), but then other times I’m terrified to add more to my to-do lists.

So basically, to put it simply, I’m overwhelmed by life. Just the daily stuff. I used to watch TV marathons and read gossip magazines and paint my nails and just relax, but now when I do those things, I can’t stop thinking about the gajillion other things I should be doing and I can’t stop feeling like I’m not doing enough. Like I don’t have a greater goal or purpose right now, and I’m just plowing through each day just to get through it.

And in addition to putting the usual chores on my to-do list, I’ve started adding things like “read,” “catch up on Downton Abbey,” and “write letter to Grandma” on that list... things that should be fun and relaxing, but have instead become chores.

To top everything off, I’ve been comparing the apartment that I’ve lived in for 8 short months to the home I grew up in and I’ve been known to whine (shocker, right?) about how my current living space just doesn’t feel like home.

Ridiculous, right? Am I alone in all this? Or am I just insanely angsty?

Ack!

Urgh!

Waaaaa!

…

…

Ahem.

Sorry. That was horrible, I know. And I feel kind of bad for even writing it and putting it out there so publicly. But I have a point. And I’m getting to it now. And this will be a heck of a lot more positive from here on out. Also, positiver should totally be a word.

Anyway…

So I look back on 2012, and I realized I was stressed out a LOT and found a LOT to complain about. I moved to a new state on the other side of the country, started a new job, and honestly had a really hard time adjusting to life so far away from my family and friends.

But I don’t want 2013 to go like 2012 did (at least in the way of my mental attitude. 2012 was actually pretty great if I focus on the positive—I lost 50 pounds, I survived a HUGE life change, I’ve traveled a TON, I have amazing people in my life, etc.). I gave myself a full year to whine and mope. I’m not going to let myself feel guilty about it. Nope. But so long as I’m going to be okay with basically being a horse’s ass for an entire year, I’m going to work REALLY hard to turn 2013 around.

And that’s my point… this is kind of, in a way, a new year’s resolution post. A few weeks late, sure, but I’ve resolved to make 2013 “The Year of Getting Stuff Done!”

Seriously, I wrote that at the top of my list of resolutions. I really should’ve called it “Bitches Get Stuff Done,” but I literally just thought of that. *sigh*

I’m posting this publicly because as I learned through posting weight-loss updates on Facebook last year, public guilt and shame are positive motivators. Er, I mean, public support and encouragement! Yes, that’s what I meant. Positiver.

Anyway, I don’t want to sit and whine about not being “happy” all the time. Rather than seeking artificial happiness, I want to find a greater purpose and meaning. This article has really helped to inspire me on that front (thanks to my awesome friend Kelsey for pointing it out).

This all might be incredibly cheesy, but I really am feeling quite motivated to turn my attitude around. So! This has all been an incredibly long-winded lead up to my new year’s resolutions for the soon-to-be-awesome year of 2013. Here goes:

1. Go for a 15-minute walk, 3 days per week. I’ve lost weight by cutting back on what I eat, but I’ve had a really hard time with the exercise side of things. And I have a wee bit o’ flab left to get rid of. So I’m starting small.
2. Blog regularly. I really do love writing, and the few times that I’ve actually worked on blog posts have made me feel motivated and inspired. I want to feel that way more often. Don’t worry though, there should be less angst.
3. Apply to grad school. I’ve been putting this off for far too long. This is an important one for me, and I know if I keep putting it off, I’ll never do it.
4. Focus on being present. This means getting off my stupid phone, not worrying about everything else on my plate, and focusing on one task at a time.
5. Try not to stress when I don’t reach a goal. I’m my own worst enemy on this, tending to focus on the negative rather than counting my blessings.
6. Focusing on the positive. Similar to the above, I’m really going to work on acknowledging all of the great things I have going for me. I live in a pretty cool place, have all kinds of great opportunities at my feet, and I don’t relish that quite enough.
7. Travel as often as possible. Someday I’m going to move away from the West Coast, and I don’t want to regret not visiting every place I’m able to. So I’ve made a list, and I’m going to do my darndest to cross each place off of it.
8. Volunteer. Focus on others, get involved in the community… oh, it’s on.
9. Read. I used to be an avid reader. You could not pry a book out of my hands even if that book were on fire. But lately, I haven’t read really much of anything. Definitely turning that around.
10. Get organized. I’ve already started working on this one, and have better organized my kitchen, my closet, and all of my hair/nail/makeup stuff.
11.  Be content with what I have, rather than what I don’t. This fits in with that complaint about my apartment not feeling like home. I have to remind myself that it will get there, and no amount of stuff that I buy at Target will make it feel more like the house I grew up in.
12. Remind myself that I’m pretty awesome. Pretty self-centered, eh? But when I mentioned that I’ve been a negative Nellie, those feelings are pretty much targeted at my own shortcomings.
13. Pay more attention to others. Kind of failed on that one so far here, huh? Oops.
14.  Learn to shoot a bow and arrow. The most random and awesome thing on this list.
15. Cook one really nice meal each week. Appetizer, sides, dessert. Yum.

Will I fulfill all of these goals? Probably not. Will I stress about that? Pretty likely, yes. (Although see #5 above. I’ll work on it). But I’m going to work really hard at finding a purpose, and being content with achieving at least one goal. That’s a reasonable quest, I think. One that will hopefully rid me of this anxiety knot.

So here’s to 2013, friends. I hope it’s a great one for all of you!